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it has definitely been awhile since i’ve posted something. before i start getting ready for work thought i would start writing here as since i havent in the past month or so. getting ready for the holidays. gotta work and save money!
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creative flow.
i has definitely been a long while since i have had any motivation to create and draw works of art. and for some strange reason it has come back to me and i do not take it for granted and take it as a blessing. i am so lucky for the opportunity and chance to be able to create something visually appealing and yet delivers a plethora of messages to all that can see it. i thank god for bestowing me with this talent and i wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. i will continue to use my talent not only for my benefit but for the benefit of others as well. i cannot wait till graduation and to my future of being the artist i have always dreamed of. until september 2012 i will continue being the creative scientist i was born to be.
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paranormal.
so i cant get any sleep…the moment i started to sleep i started seeing white flashes of light then a deep voice just laughing in the background…i dont know whether i was dreaming but i felt awake in it…which is wierd…this is the second time i’ve experienced something like this.. i hope it is just a coincidence…the first time it happened was like hella early in the morning like around 3 or 4am and i first heard a little girl’s laughter that seem to start close then just start to get farther and farther then the wierdest thing happened right after and there was like a breeze that swept the bottom of my blanket up…i gotta admit it scared the shit outta me…i couldnt sleep for the rest of the night or the following after that. lets just hope its all a coincidence. shit is starting to really creep me out.
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nothing ever rarely finishes itself off. you have got to want it, desire it. it has to be just like breathing…automatic. the moment you hesitate is the moment you start doubting yourself. then its the moment you need to start asking yourself what your focus is. never in my life i thought that i would be here in this moment taking the baby steps in order to achieve my dreams. completing dreams is no easy task…take it one day at a time…one drawing at a time. and slowly but surely you will get atop that mountain. and your feeling of accomplishment will be greater because of the hard work, blood, sweat, and tears you had to go through…rather than taking the new mentality now-a-days which is “instant” or quick. time always makes things so much more sweeter in the end.
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It isn’t living without dying.
just some quick thoughts popping into my head…
i think that even though we hate to go through our problems its healthy. and no matter how big or how small it may be it definitely helps to get through it with somebody. i think that even though problems seem to stockpile and fall over all at the same time it helps people become stronger…and i think that having problems seem to bring people closer to each other when you fight through them together. no matter how small or big the problem might be. whether you are suffering from a bad situation or just made something up in order to gain attention…it still brings people to you and its comforting. and nothing beats the feeling of being loved. remember it isnt really life without death and there would be no peace if it wasnt for war.
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i think growing up to be an artist at heart it comes with a setback. like most famous already deceased artists many of them have worked in solitude and it kept them maintain focus and it gave them time to develop their skills and become masters of their medium. i think that when you start to dream of becoming something as such there are things that just come along with trying to become like the masters. and in terms of becoming a visual artist you are given the natural gift or earned skill of creating beautiful pieces that are visually stimulating to the eyes. something to mesmorize people with. what i find the downside to wanting to be a visual artist is that i find myself liking to work alone more. i mean don’t get me wrong its not like im depressed or sad, but it seems more calm when there is just me the pencil and paper. just hope that life doesn’t end for me like those of past masters. well then again times have indeed change and more people have looked towards the arts for a wide variety of reasons. and someday i hope to bring that kind of escape for those who need it/want it. because it definitely helps me to get through my days.
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“Satisfaction”
We as a people do not seriously see the length and severity of our actions and how far they really do take, not only us, but others as well. Her name is Kuma. And me and Christa found her out on the streets of milpitas today. She was limping and it looked like she had broken her leg. Funny in this short time we were with her it felt as though we made her our own and it was bittersweet. Bitter because its very sad to see a cute dog like this be out on the streets limping waiting to get hit by a car. Sweet because it was me and christa who were the ones who took her in for the meantime.
To think that if we had gone a different route to great mall or had not decided to go last minute Kuma would still be out in the streets. I believe in destiny and it was just that. That we were there in that position for a purpose. And it was to get her treated and to contact her owners. Throughout the time we had her all i thought about was trying to get her treated and in the safe hands of a professional caretaker. forget the rewards. that was never crossed my mind. We got her to the San Jose Animal Shelter and they tended to her leg as they tried to contact her owner. I think the satisfaction that i got for doing the right thing was a greater feeling than any amount of money or reward ever given. There is no such thing as a pricetag on something so precious no matter how little or big the life is.
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finally got some time to actually sit down and start working on this next piece here. spiderman vs. venom. time to actually get some stuff done. cherish every single moment i have when i draw. there has been so many things going on it sorta just took a backseat to whatever i was doing. glad to literally be back on the drawing board again. it feels great.
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its funny you live most of your life in one designated place pretty much your whole life and whenever you stop to think…this whole place is like a memory bank. thoughts of your past play out in your head in certain areas. the good and the bad, and thoughts of how you are here right now in this place…just some random thoughts as i rode throughout fremont, newark and union city. and how bent out of shape i am. i definitely need to exercise more. picture is from the small lake in newark during one of my rest stops. now time to enjoy the rest of the next 2 weeks off, then off to post production on our movie! cant wait!!
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looks like ill be making these from now on instead of frappucinos!
